I swerve out of control

Yeah, my hair is long enough for my cat ears again! Not that you can really see them haha. And I've dyed my hair black again. It feels good to be back home haha. Black feels more natural to have than my actual brown hair. Just feels like it suits me more. Lately... I'm not quite sure what my "problem" is. It might be a flu that I can't seem to get rid of. I keep sneezing, sometimes my throat is sore, and all I seem to want to do is sleep. I'll go to bed at 21.00 and won't get up until 16.00 the next day. It's crazy. But because of that, I haven't even been looking at my school work, not even my abnormal psychology- which I love. So I don't think my councillor will be too happy about that come Monday when I see her again. I can't believe it's 2013 already. I'm going to be 20 this year. I can't wrap my head around that either. I guess it's because I never thought I was going to reach this age. Always pretending that I'd reach 18 and stop there. If only, hey? To be honest, I don't have much else to write about. This is basically all that's been happening to me recently. I've gotten into drawing a bit again, so that's a good sign. To be doing a habit I used to do all the time. 

I've noticed that I actually feel more comfortable with having my picture taken. I'm not so self-conscious about the way I look. "Oh am I pretty enough?" "Is my skin okay?" "What about my hair?"

Now I'm just, "Look at the camera and smile, Sora!" And I think my pictures look great too. Even the ones I don't take. There's one that my mum took at xmas and I love it, even though my complexion was really bad haha. Speaking of which, my skin has finally improved a lot. I bought a new cleanser- Neutrogena- and it works awesomely. I gotta use it twice a day every day though. If I don't, then more acne shows up the next day .__. 

I think for now I'm going to let my hair grow out, mostly in the back, kind of like how you usually see the members in visual kei and oshare kei bands... kinda like a mullet... I guess... Just not like a redneck D: I miss dressing similar to those Japanese styles. I never went all out because of lack of money and resources lol. But just because I'm a guy now, doesn't mean I have to stop that, right? Right. I just want to watch that I don't look too feminine. And besides, it's the males who pull off the style the best! >:D So why not, if I miss it? I'm not gonna get into the excessive eye liner, etc, though. I still wanna look a bit masculine, yeah?

I don't think Scott's idea of me moving in with him is gonna happen. A little let down about that, but not the end of the world. I don't mind, honestly. I'd be too much of a mooch anyways haha. 

Well, without further adieu, I bid you all good night~

And love always.

Falling Away With You

I do suppose that I am in need of an update, it has been a while. Not much has been going on. It's been pretty relaxed as usual. I finally wrapped Birth By Sleep tonight. I was kinda disappointed by how it ended. There were a lot of feelings and emotions that it evoked out of me though haha. But Kingdom Hearts games usually tend to do that to me. I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Megan and we're in an "actual" relationship. Not an online one, so I meet her in person and everything lol. She's eighteen and lives with Scott and Kelsey right now. We've been dating for about two weeks. To be honest, when I first met her I didn't like her too much. But first impressions aren't everything right? After I got to know her better, I began liking her and Scott and I convinced her to break up with her abusive boyfriend. All he did was use her and make her miserable. If she was happy with him, then I wouldn't have bothered, because... well that'd just be a complete ass of a move lol. But according to Scott, after I left, she was really happy and has been a lot happier since then, so I'm glad. I haven't told mum about her yet, but I probably will soon when I get the guts to do so. At least mum has met her already and even said she was a nice girl. So thumbs up for that! Another thumbs up that Megan doesn't snore when she sleeps lmao. I hate people who snore so much, ugh. Anyways. Last Friday, I went to hang out with Scott, Kelsey, and Megan, as I do every weekend now. First it was just Scott and I and we went to Brooks to get Tim Horton's. Coffee for him and a small ice cap for me. After we drove around Brooks for a while and Scott showed me all the places that him and the girls grew up. It was really interesting- hearing all the stories he told and the meanings behind the places. Plus we got to see some pretty decked out houses. Tons and tons of Christmas lights and trees haha. Then we went back to Bassano and picked up the girls and drove around before heading back to their place. I think it was about 02.00 by the time we decided to finally go to bed haha. After Megan and I went to bed, I ended up having a panic attack. I think it was the shortest panic attack I had ever had. And unfortunately I had Megan freaked out ._. Oops. It was also the first time it happened at someone else's house too. But in the end, I'm glad it went away fast. I'm pretty sure the cause of it was the ice cap I had earlier, which makes me very thankful that I had only gotten a small. And now I will never have caffeine ever again. D: Scary shit son. Then after I had calmed down, apparently Scott's bird blew a blood vessel. (This is at 04.00 now) And so they had to drive all the way to Calgary (1h 30min drive) to take the bird to the emergency vet since they were the closest one's that specialized in birds .__. I was really worried since Scott had only had maybe 3 hours of sleep for the passed two days. But him and Kelsey made it to the vet in one piece. Took them 3 and a half hours to find the vet though! They ended up calling a taxi service and had a cab lead the way there. So it was about 08.00 by the time they got there. The bird ended up having to go through surgery and Kelsey was flipping out. She's very attached to their pets. All in all though, the bird is fine and Kelsey and Scott made it back fine too. It was a very busy night... and basically the only excitement that I've had since haha. 

They want me to move in come January too. I'm not sure how I feel about that because they say it's okay if I don't pay rent or anything. So basically I'd be mooching off of them. In return they just want me to clean, since they can't do it worth shit lol. Which honestly sounds great because I love cleaning, but I am kind of high maintenance and they aren't exactly rich... What with my medications and the special diet I have. Plus they're gonna have to pay extra for their utilities since I'll be there all the time and extra groceries I need and stuff. It just doesn't sound fair for them in my opinion. But I would love to live with them. I also doubt that my mother would let me move there given the circumstances as well, even though I'm an adult now and everything, my mum still has final say over me. Just because I'm not as independent as I should be and don't have a job or anything. Otherwise my mum wouldn't have a problem. I just don't want to be a burden to them and I told them that and they say "Oh, you won't be" "We'll be happy to have you" And etc, etc, But that will only last so long before they notice the decrease in money they have once I'm there. Ugh... If only I was closer to graduating. I keep saying that, but it just seems so far away and it pisses me off. I need to be a full adult already. 
Maybe I'll just get a part time job at the grocery store since it's close to their place and then I still have a bunch of hours to do school work. Maybe it will motivate me more. Yeah... That does sound better and then I can give them a bit of rent too. Although I doubt it will be much, but I would feel better if I gave them something. I feel better now that I sorted that out right now LOL. 

My eating has improved since the last post as well. Gone back to eating two meals and snacks in between like I used to do. And the "End of the World" is this Friday hahaha. What a laugh that is. I'll probably be over at Scott's again. I also need to finish my x-mas shopping too /: Need Mum, Nick, and Dad. And then I'll be good. Not sure how I'm gonna pull that off, but we'll see. 
Nothing else to really mention- Not that I can think of anyways. Mood hasn't been too bad, sleeping could be better, but it always could be. So I guess I'll stop here. 

Have a good week everyone~