I got my septum pierced!!!! I actually pierced it one week ago, but it's healing really nicely actually. Of course my Mum doesn't approve, but I am 18 after all and I suppose I deserved to do a little rebelling in my adulthood haha. Oh and I died some of my hair blue too, I really like blue hair and red O: It's just so pretty. I'm thinking about slowly dying my whole hair a lighter color though (maybe until a dirty blonde or lighter) and then dying my whole head blue! I've wanted it for years actually, but the first time I tried it, it didn't work out -__- So I'm gonna say, screw the salons, 'cause whenever my Mum or I dye my hair, it turns out exactly how I want it! Yeah!To be honest, today was actually a pretty good day, one which I haven't had in quite a long time. I went to the doctor's to have a check up- they've finally put me on medication omg- and usually when I have to go to the hospital, I'll have an anxiety attack, but this time I didn't! I was nervous, but it was still controllable. I got to meet my psychologist too, he seems to be a really nice guy and we got along pretty well. I only have to phone in whenever I want to see him, so I think maybe two weeks from now, I'll make an appointment, just to talk I guess. I don't have anything planned in particular to say to him, but maybe he'll teach me some calming techniques. Or maybe eventually I can tell him about how I feel with regards to my body and my gender issues. Maybe. To be honest, I'm still sort of in the closet about it, but it doesn't hurt me that I haven't told a lot of people. I've told a few, but only my online friends .___. so I'm not sure if that counts, I'm just afraid of what my family and irl friends will say since they're not very supportive of the whole LGBT community and such. But I will tell them when I am ready, that is for sure. And my regular doctor seemed pretty relieved that I've been doing better again.
SO my medication has definitely started working, finally. It took two weeks, but that's only normal. It turns out I have Panic Disorder, so I have to take this anti-anxiety pill every day. The first week was hell since my body had to readjust to it. The first day I took it- that evening, I had a REALLY BAD panic attack and I ended up going to the hospital in an ambulance. This was like 3 in the morning. I'm glad it was on the weekend though so everyone was able to sleep in Sunday morning haha. But that panic attack was really scary, I've never had one that bad before. As long as I don't have another one that bad, I won't mind this so much. But next on the agenda is getting my weight up D: like holy crapballs. When I was healthy, I was 45kgs, but now I've dropped down to 39 kgs, it's so crazy, even though I'm only 151.5 cm ;A; . I really need to eat more, but I just don't have an appetite for some reason. I think it's one of the side effects from my pills, but hopefully it'll pass soon.
I finally got to talk to my cousin, Sarah today, and yesterday too! It's been a long time since we've written to each other, and I found out she still wants to be roommates with me whenever I move out. WHEREVER I move out. I'm still undecided haha. There's just... so many options lol. My cousin hasn't been to happy lately though, but I'm trying to convince her to get a job to come out here. I live in Alberta and she lives in Newfoundland and as much as I love Newfoundland, if she really wants to come out here to be with me, I want her to do so. I just want her to be happy you know? And basically she'd only have to work for two months anyways and she'd have enough for a ticket and a little extra for luggage and whatnot. So if she can suck it up and get a job, I might have a roommate a lot sooner than I thought. I don't mind that we'd have to share a room, we've done it before :D
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